Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
