Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
