i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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