I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
