how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
