Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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