Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
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