Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
