His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
