He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
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We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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