Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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