Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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