Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
