how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
they're like a gay fantastic four
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
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