can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
