Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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