her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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