girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
