he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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