gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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