dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
