Sponge bath it is.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
