And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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