i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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