I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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