And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize