I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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