All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
