Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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