too bad you live with your parents still
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
