and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
