This girl is more easily done than said...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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