I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am puke
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize