she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
