You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
