its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize