Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
