I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Less talking, more tequila
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
