I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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