I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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