The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize