I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
