he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
