she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
