At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
