I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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