Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
