I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize