My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
