You work out of a Hotel?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
