i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
