So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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