babies were throwing up all over the place
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
