OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize