Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
