before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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