"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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