Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
