Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
