I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
