Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I want to stick my p in your. b.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
