I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
