And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
