just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
